Sitting
in front of the computer and recalling what we have discussed in class, the
first thing jumps to my mind is the question raised at the begin of the 2nd
class meeting, "if I have no say about the implement, then what's the
meaning of my work?" If the plan ends up in the shelf, does that mean all
my work is in vain?
Well, I
do agree that it's so frustrating for a consultant to know that his advise is
not taken no matter what's the reason behind it. But I will never take it
personal. As long as I have done job step by step, it is the client's problems
that he is not ready to take my advice.
Actually
everybody was, is, or will be a stubborn client who refuses to take
consultant's advice and have to swallow the severe consequence in the end.
For example, when I was young, my parents were my consultants about
almost everything. They told me not to play with fire, do not lie, pay
attention in class and watch out when going across a street. They are all
excellent advices, and I don't see any reason why I didn't listen to them. But
the truth was I just ignored them. Probably because I was lazy or exhausted, I
cheated once about my homework and got caught. Being caught and punished
made me realize that my parents’ advice was right, and I decided to take it
seriously.
This
is perhaps what’s going on with those clients who decide to leave the plans on
their shelves and make no change. They are not ready for the change. The
reasons for the absence of readiness lie in various aspects. It can be an
economic problem. If the plan will cost a big amount of money at once, some of
the manager may not be insightful enough to see the long-term benefit of it and
decide to live with the old way which cost less each time but a lot in a long
run. Also, it can be the motivation. The manager sees the benefit of the new
plan, but the old one still work, and he has other priorities. So he decides to
drop this issue for a moment until it becomes an urgent problem. Just like my
story, I didn’t pay attention to my parents’ advise until the problem had a
huge and direct impact on me. There are some lessons that the client has to
learn himself. As a consultant, my job is to provide the resource of the lesson
and suggest him to learn. Eventually, he is the one who decides what he is
going to learn and how he is going to learn it.
This notion is in accordance with the humanist orientation of teaching.
The learner has the right to decide what to learn and how to learn. The Teacher
is a facilitator who helps him become the person he wants to be. I consider
myself as a humanist, and this is what I believe about effective learning.
However,
leaving the choice to the client does not mean less responsibility of the
consultant, but, on the contrary, more responsibility. To make sure that the
client is going to make the right choice, the consultant has to work carefully
on all the steps from establishing relationships to designing the plan. When
reading Schein’s book about building the consultant-client relationship today,
I thought about one fruitless consultation I had in college. With the
consulting skills we have discussed, now I can see the failure was rooted in
the very begin.
It
was a psychological consult (I am not sure about the English expression).
Basically, there was a psychological therapist who was supposed to listen and
talk to me, and make me feel better. At
least that’s what in the TV shows. At the middle of my first semester in
college, I was upset about my campus life. I had difficulty talking with my
friends about my problems, so that there was no outlet for the negative
emotions. At that time, what I needed was just a stranger I could talk to
frankly without the fear of being judged or discriminated. So I made an
appointment with the psychological consultant.
Arriving
the consulting room 5 minutes earlier, I found it was still closed. It should
be ok to stand outside and wait for a while. But the problem was that it was
just next to a classroom, which meant people, especially those who knew me,
might see me waiting for a consultation. I wanted to keep it to myself, so I
felt so insecure while waiting, worrying about any footstep I heard. After the
suffering 5 minute, I entered the room. Thank god, no one saw me.
The
room seemed not professional to me, neither the consultant, a middle-aged
woman. She asked me to sit on the coach, and she sat on a chair next to the
coach. “Why are you here today?” she stared the conversation. “Well, nothing
big.” I answered, “I just feel smothered and want to talk to someone who don’t
know me.” ”OK. So what’s the problem?” I told her that I felt frustrated about
my class. I wanted to have more discussion in class. I wanted to be noticed and
heard. But I just couldn’t. Once I said something, I felt the tension in the
classroom that some people were getting bored or they just wanted me to stop. I
couldn’t share this with my friend because I didn’t thing she would support me
on this. Actually, when saying this, I was not sure if this was the real
problem. I felt there was something more about my friend that provoked my
anxiety, but I didn’t know how to express it, nor feel comfortable enough to express
it. I guess this is what Schein means by “test” in the book (P38).
Unconsciously, I was testing if the consultant was listening to me and to which
degree I could trust her. I wished that she could lead me into a deeper
retrospection so that I could identify the real cause of my frustration.
But
her comment didn’t work in that way. She said that it was common for freshmen
to feel upset about the college life because there was always a huge gap
between our expectation and the reality. Also, since the university was not a
top-notch one, many students were disappointed to end up here. Then she
comforted me by saying things like “this university will help you achieve your
dream. Just work hard.” I knew what she said was right. But it was not what I
needed at that time. I believed that I had overcome the disappointment and I
love my university. This was not my problem. But I didn’t feel like to talk
further about how I really felt anymore, because she was not listening. She
just put me into the category of students who was disappointed by the rank of
the university, and I felt reluctant to argue about it. I said thank you and
left the room. Fortunately, no one saw me there.
I
think this is a perfect example of the importance of the consultant-client
relationship. To build and develop a productive relationship, the key is active
inquiry, but not quick judgment. If the consultant really listened to me and
guided me to talk more, I was ready to open my heart. Hope that I won’t any
mistake like this with my clients.