I just finished the first five chapters of the book "Leading with Questions", and I love it! The main idea is that asking good questions in a good manner promotes new ideas and learning. It reminds me of something happened when I was very young, and makes me think about the educational culture in my family and, more generally, in traditional Chinese culture.
In the book, Dr. Marquardt discussed how we are discouraged to ask questions by authorities, and I clearly remember that it happened to me once. It was in 90s, and I was in elementary school. I asked my mom a really simply and silly question, and the answer seemed to be obvious to everyone. Therefore, my uncle, who heard my question, said :" Although it is good to ask questions, don't ask those that you can answer by yourself. Think through the answer before you ask others." My uncles comment has resided with me since then. It does help me to think more, but also scares me away from asking questions because I am afraid that others think it is silly one.
In terms of "thinking", there are various ways to understand it. In American culture that I have learned about, people believe that different kinds of thinkers, some of them think through before they talk, while others think by talking. However, in traditional Chinese culture, thinking and reflection should only be silent and private. Wise people are expected to think and make sophisticated conclusions before they talk. Also, to reflect, individual should be separated in a private space to allow ideas flow.
Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. I have problems thinking quietly. I have to say it out to reason for myself. Therefore, when I need to think or reflect, I talk to myself in a mirror and record what I say. Although it is not a real conversation, it feels like one. I can see my body language and hear myself as a audience, which keep me focused and inspired. I though I was a freak, but I know that I am just another kind of learner.
It is a pity that people didn't recognize this when I was younger, but it's a good lesson I have learned about how to interact with others. If I were in my uncle's position, I would have done the following things differently. First, I would recognize the merit of being curious and asking questions. Second, instead of ask the child to think by herself, I would bounce the question back to invite her into a conversation. I believe this is more effective for the several reasons. First, it shows that I care what she has to say, which will build up her self-esteem and confidence; second, it indicate my trust in her capability; third, it changes the power dynamic in a positive way because our relationship is no longer authority and follower, but equal participants who will both contribute to the conversation. In the conversation, I will try to put aside my assumption that I am smarter than a pupil, and get into the learner's mindset and be open to any new ideas. This is such a powerful way to provoke thinking that can be used with not only adults as Marquardt said in the book, but also with young children.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Sunday, January 19, 2014
A Little More Understanding of Myself
Last Thursday, I had the first class of capstone, the very last course of the program. It is really hard to believe that it has been two years and I am going to finish up my master degree. In these days, I always know that I have been changed, but cannot pinpoint specific changes. However, there was one moment in the class that reminded me that the changes are primarily in the ways I see, interpret and react to the world.
During the class, we were asked to write down our biggest wish for this class. The one that immediately came to my mind was to overcome any issues emerging in our teamwork and to maintain our friendship. To my surprise, I was the only one who considered this as the biggest wish. Most of the classmates were thinking about how to fulfill the task successfully, to efficiently help our clients and to build up to one's resume. At that moment, I realize that the difference between their wishes and mine roots in our cultural backgrounds. With western culture that values pragmatism, typical Americans prioritize the efficiency in fulfill specific tasks and reach goals. Therefore, my classmates' wishes are more task-orientated. In contrast, my wish is very relationship-oriented, which represent a striking characteristic of eastern culture.
Not only did I saw the cultural differences, I was also able to think deeper about it. I don't think I was this cultural-sensitive two years ago, but I am now. I owe this improvement to the cross-cultural learning experience I have gained in America. In this environment, cultural diversity is recognized and celebrated. Plus, in my classes, cultural differences in a variety of levels, including individual, team, organization and nations, are often discussed. Without such a learning experience, I won't be able to gain the cultural awareness I have now. It may not have a direct impact on my behavior, but it has provided me a new lens to understand the world. It helps pull me out of selfishness, and teach me to welcome differences and always consider for others. Despite how it may contribute to my career, the cultural awareness and the new lens have already made me feel better about myself. This is one of the reasons why I want to pursue further education.
Another thing I have learned from this class activity is that although I have changed in many ways, the most deeply rooted culture and believes in my mind are still very eastern. I have heard many times, especially during my visit back home this winter, that I have been Americanized and become a "banana" (yellow outside, white inside). This was even what I believed. However, the comparison of the wishes we made in class show me that the eastern culture has such a fundamental influence on my thinking habit that it is still the dominant philosophy in my mind. It is just too deep-root for me to detect it easily, so that I have been taken it for granted. But it is traceable if I think through my decisions.
What I have written in this post may make no sense to most people, but it is so important to me, especially when I am in my early twenties, the critical period to understand and construct the "self". From the experience and the reflection on it, I just learned more about who I am and how I really think. Also, being able to reflect on experiences allows me to see the progress I have made in years. It is just so wonderful.
During the class, we were asked to write down our biggest wish for this class. The one that immediately came to my mind was to overcome any issues emerging in our teamwork and to maintain our friendship. To my surprise, I was the only one who considered this as the biggest wish. Most of the classmates were thinking about how to fulfill the task successfully, to efficiently help our clients and to build up to one's resume. At that moment, I realize that the difference between their wishes and mine roots in our cultural backgrounds. With western culture that values pragmatism, typical Americans prioritize the efficiency in fulfill specific tasks and reach goals. Therefore, my classmates' wishes are more task-orientated. In contrast, my wish is very relationship-oriented, which represent a striking characteristic of eastern culture.
Not only did I saw the cultural differences, I was also able to think deeper about it. I don't think I was this cultural-sensitive two years ago, but I am now. I owe this improvement to the cross-cultural learning experience I have gained in America. In this environment, cultural diversity is recognized and celebrated. Plus, in my classes, cultural differences in a variety of levels, including individual, team, organization and nations, are often discussed. Without such a learning experience, I won't be able to gain the cultural awareness I have now. It may not have a direct impact on my behavior, but it has provided me a new lens to understand the world. It helps pull me out of selfishness, and teach me to welcome differences and always consider for others. Despite how it may contribute to my career, the cultural awareness and the new lens have already made me feel better about myself. This is one of the reasons why I want to pursue further education.
Another thing I have learned from this class activity is that although I have changed in many ways, the most deeply rooted culture and believes in my mind are still very eastern. I have heard many times, especially during my visit back home this winter, that I have been Americanized and become a "banana" (yellow outside, white inside). This was even what I believed. However, the comparison of the wishes we made in class show me that the eastern culture has such a fundamental influence on my thinking habit that it is still the dominant philosophy in my mind. It is just too deep-root for me to detect it easily, so that I have been taken it for granted. But it is traceable if I think through my decisions.
What I have written in this post may make no sense to most people, but it is so important to me, especially when I am in my early twenties, the critical period to understand and construct the "self". From the experience and the reflection on it, I just learned more about who I am and how I really think. Also, being able to reflect on experiences allows me to see the progress I have made in years. It is just so wonderful.
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