Educating with Questions

I just finished the first five chapters of the book "Leading with Questions", and I love it! The main idea is that asking good questions in a good manner promotes new ideas and learning. It reminds me of something happened when I was very young, and makes me think about the educational culture in my family and, more generally, in traditional Chinese culture.

In the book, Dr. Marquardt discussed how we are discouraged to ask questions by authorities, and I clearly remember that it happened to me once. It was in 90s, and I was in elementary school. I asked my mom a really simply and silly question, and the answer seemed to be obvious to everyone. Therefore, my uncle, who heard my question, said :" Although it is good to ask questions, don't ask those that you can answer by yourself. Think through the answer before you ask others." My uncles comment has resided with me since then. It does help me to think more, but also scares me away from asking questions because I am afraid that others think it is silly one.

In terms of "thinking", there are various ways to understand it. In American culture that I have learned about, people believe that different kinds of thinkers, some of them think through before they talk, while others think by talking. However, in traditional Chinese culture, thinking and reflection should only be silent and private. Wise people are expected to think and make sophisticated conclusions before they talk. Also, to reflect, individual should be separated in a private space to allow ideas flow.

Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. I have problems thinking quietly. I have to say it out to reason for myself. Therefore, when I need to think or reflect, I talk to myself in a mirror and record what I say. Although it is not a real conversation, it feels like one. I can see my body language and hear myself as a audience, which keep me focused and inspired. I though I was a freak, but I know that I am just another kind of learner.

It is a pity that people didn't recognize this when I was younger, but it's a good lesson I have learned about how to interact with others. If I were in my uncle's position, I would have done the following things differently. First, I would recognize the merit of being curious and asking questions. Second, instead of ask the child to think by herself, I would bounce the question back to invite her into a conversation. I believe this is more effective for the several reasons. First, it shows that I care what she has to say, which will build up her self-esteem and confidence; second, it indicate my trust in her capability; third, it changes the power dynamic in a positive way because our relationship is no longer authority and follower, but equal participants who will both contribute to the conversation. In the conversation, I will try to put aside my assumption that I am smarter than a pupil, and get into the learner's mindset and be open to any new ideas. This is such a powerful way to provoke thinking that can be used with not only adults as Marquardt said in the book, but also with young children.